Grieving for Miao-Hua -2

Thank you guys! I am alright, sorry to let you worry. I am in good hand - with DC, he is very sweet. Cyn, sorry to make you redo the make-up. Mags, sorry to make you worry. I am fine! It, just takes time to accept that Miao-Hua is gone.

The thing is I am not ready to hear any bad news like this yet. We girls stop checking on her, because we couldn't help her and we couldn't stand her in-laws (using baby to establish woman's meaning in the family). Miao-Hua was an excellent financial controller and good in analyzing stock market. Between career and family, she chose the man she loved and created a family and tryed dead hard to get pregnant. Yes, 10 years! She has done whatever she could possible to get a baby. The best tried was 4 months. I admire her for her hammer at making baby day after day, month after month, year after year. She gave up her favourte dessert and ate whatever doctors said or her in-laws's special diet, super brave to take the injection, faced such stressful family pressure alone all these years. I don't mean her husband did nothing to protect her, but he is so weak in front of his family. Last time we met on re-unit, Miao-Hua was under Chinese herbs treatment and gained some weight which we were happy for her. Finally, she look more normal, flush with health. Meantwhile, she took the acupuncture too. We were wondering why she wanted a baby so badly. It turn out that her in-laws were tired of waiting for the 3rd generation. They wanted the 3rd generation, baby boy preferred, ASAP, with her or not, doesn't matter. We all went mad when we heard that, but her husband promised to take care of her and stay with her. We spoke to her as her sis that he might not worth it or he might run away. But, she wanted to stay with him and kept trying. In that time, I couldn't understand why couldn't her husband stand up and talk to his own parents that he married her and she would be the only one to have his baby. Miao-Hua's parents, I don't know if I can visit them yet, she is the only child and now, they are on their own. I still can't believe we were 20-minute driving away while she was dying in hospital. But like Mo said, Miao-Hua won't see us and she was too weak too. She would be better to spend her last moment with her own family.

After all, her husband did stay with her until her last breath. That's something. I couldn't stop thinking it was a cruel blow to him too. He was told that Miao-Hua only had 6 months to live in Janurary. Somehow, she crashed so fast and spent most of time in ICU. it won't be easy. In Janurary, they prepared for a cancer fight at step one. And then, they run out of time. Miao-Hua thought she still had time, so she won't see us until she got better. When she was in ICU, her Dad asked her what else she wanted to do or someone to see. She made a phone call to Mo. On the phone, she expressed optimism about this cancer fight, but she felt sleepy and tired. Mo asked for approval to see her and she said "Next month when I get better". On the letter, Miao-Hua requested to let her husband attend reunit for her. I don't know what I would do to him. I don't know when we would do the reunit. It was supposed to be this year. We are all in shock still. Only one girl watches the VCD so far. I am not ready to watch it yet.

I am so grateful to have my family and in-laws being so supportive. Although we are trying to have a baby but no pressure at all. It's all in God's hand and we wait and see. Be honest, I was a bit worry that I might fall in the endless hole like Miao-Hua, but we are in clearly different position. At least, DC looks after me well. I love you so much, DC! Thank you!