Mom & Daughter & Daughter-in-law

This relationship between Mom to her daughter and Mom to her daughter-in-law are very different in Chinese than to in Western. Blood is thicker than water! It's in our nature to get all benefits for Mom and take our points of view from her shoes. Daughter-in-law is bound by marriage, so there will be differences from background and family value issues involved. However, we still need to deal with those issues and seek for win-win situation.

My parents are very traditional TW and grew in frugle family role. Three of us were taught - save money, water, electricity, gas, petrol...etc. There is no bathtub in our house coz we take shower since we were kids (until Joan comes and Mark bought a Jacuzzi for her). All plugs will be taken off if it is not used (no stand-by, but fridge; until DC came, some plugs are on all the time). My parents rarely eat out coz it's $$$ and with lots of seasoning and we only have 3 meals a day (My Dad and Mark have to take rice every single meal and Mark is very criticized on rice quality). There is no cookie or sweet or cake in the house coz my Dad won't allow it (until Joan comes and later, she even gives it to Daniel). There are many things my Mom has to deal with Joan and Mia; but Joan is the first dauther-in-law, so Joan needs to set up a sample. Coz of family background's big gap, it'll be a long way.

The first daughter-in-law is important in TW family coz she will be in charged of whole family finance and key person who be in touch with other members. So, my parents gave Joan (and will give Mia in Oct) a purse on the Wedding night coz it meant she will be in charge of a family's finance. The hidden message is to spend money on necessary cost and save the rest for future needs. I remember my grandma (Mom's mom) said: "A family is like a teapot, only a lid, but several spouts." Today, I heard Mom said it to Joan, I miss grandma!!! Back to the point, the first daughter-in-law is important coz she will live with my parents. Therefore, Joan needs to learn how to live with my parents and know their live styles. Joan should learn how to deal with houseworks and especailly, time management.

I am not worried about Mia coz Mia and Chris are the same type of person - thrifty and neither of them are brand lover. But I can't stop wondering what they want. Since Chris was kid, he didn't have any need or request. So far, the first request happened 3 yrs ago for a car - 2000cc & low maintainance. And of course, my parents gave something else and kept Chris's mouth shut. Their wedding, although they want to play low, but it's still parents' show time. I don't think I need to have a word to Mia on how to be a daughter-in-law. Mia's mom has 9 sis-in-law and grand-grandma will attend Mia's wedding, so Mia's mom should teach Mia well already. We'll see!

I am lucky to marry DC. He gives me freedom in many ways and guide me on many new experiences. Da treats me as his own daughter. Mags loves me as her own child too. Ian, you are my favourite brother-in-law and the only one; plus you still own me a Risotto & a Green curry. Let's take a Penne alla Carbonara as interest and remember we are still on High Fat Low Carb diet...^_^ I love you guys!